Addiction — I Ain’t Perfect

Hey everyone!
Thanks again for tuning into my blog. I definitely appreciate all the love!
If this is your first time reading you can find out more what this blog is all about here.

Today’s topic is very personal and will be a highly transparent moment that I’ll share with you guys because I believe the worst parts of us cannot and should not remain hidden in darkness. Once we bring those negative parts to light we can begin to use them as a pedestal and stand in strength.
Normally I prefer to discuss finances, health, and lifestyles but today I’d like to talk about how I’ve been personally and still continue to struggle with addictions. I believe we all aspire to live the best versions of ourselves and have the best life possible but the problem is a lot of the times we can look at the 10th mile while we’re just getting started on our journey. In other words we take in all the steps necessary to live the life we desire and get so overwhelmed with all that’s required we forget to conquer the stage we are currently in.

For example, one challenge I wanted to focus on is changing my diet and fasting. But that was challenging to do because I still struggled with weed, cigarettes, and alcohol. Not to mention my sexual addiction 🤦🏾‍♂️.
But back to my point. I wanted to conquer my diet but being that I still struggled with those addictions made it nearly impossible to stay on a healthy diet while hungover or drunk. Then to wake up early and exercise was also nearly impossible because anyone who has been drunk knows it’s nearly impossible to wake up early and have a “normal” day while feeling hungover. So my desire to diet and exercise became stagnant because of those addictions.

So as I continue on this journey and document it for you guys to not only get inspired but to join me on this journey I’ve decided to change my focus. Let me explain.

My diet and exercise may have been step 4 or 5. It pleases me to realize before I can even change my diet and exercise I must lockdown step 1 which is to remove the bad stuff. Remove the addictions that prevented me from sticking to my long term goals of optimizing my health. To reiterate my focus is now on sobriety and cessation. Those are the first steps in my life and personal journey.

A wise man once told me that you can only focus on one thing at a time and if you chase two rabbits you catch none. So I must approach this with extreme Jordan-like focus. And as recommended by my chameleons when stopping something you don’t just stop it, you need to replace it with something else. I was strong on the sobriety tip but stumbled far too many times to count and my stumbles tend to be extended.

With that said I’d like to remind you that no one is perfect. Balance is best. Now that I think about it I’m not even sure why I smoke in the first place. Weed I smoke it for the high but cigarettes literally have no real positive effect other than supplying the crave a smoker has for it. Maybe it’s a nervous twitch trying to be cured… who knows. As far as drinking I believed I did that because I have fun most nights I drink and I’m reminded of a joke that goes : “No good story starts with I was out with my buddy eating a salad…” lol

Once again there is no such thing as perfection and part of me understands why one would drink on occasion (mine was not on occasion sadly) and part of me doesn’t want to entirely quit because there are nights I have fun when I don’t black out 🤯. And I’m not afraid to admit of some wild sexual nights from too many drinks. But as passive as I am with alcohol I would not understand why people who quit smoking ciggs would go back after an extended period of time.

Cigarettes are just a total disaster for me.

So I’ll wrap this one up as I find myself going on a soapbox about my personal opinions. In short I’ll say keep your eyes on your own test paper. And never look down on anyone unless it’s to help them up.

We all are faced with challenges and it takes serious work to live our best life whether that be financially, physically, mentally, or health wise. We all are fighting something at one point.

So my immediate focus is just to remain sober. That is step one. As we continue walking on this journey I’ll enjoy sharing all the experiences and new experiments I’ll be working on. And I hope I encourage someone to finally take life serious and begin their own personal journeys to living their best life.
As always much love!

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Photo credit Sara Bakhshi

Originally published at https://ronniejacks.com on December 2, 2019.